Whole30: day 2 and shopping prep

Today was a busy day, but because I planned ahead, I was able to get through it.

B: left over frittata and iced coffee with coconut almond milk

Snack: A bit of apple and raw almond butter. 

L: left over bolognese 

Dinner: pan seared Chx, roasted potatoes and zucchini. The sauce was a chipotle red pepper mayo. 

We also made a run to the store to stock the produce and prep the pantry. 

These are my favorite stores for getting your whole30 pantry ready. 

Aldi: 

Organic veg, beef and Chx broth

Organic diced tomatoes

Organic ground beef

Tomato paste

Nuts

Some dried fruits

Organic spinach, kale and arugula

Organic bananas, carrots and cherry tomatoes

Organic coconut oil

Seltzer water

Olives

Meijer:

Canned coconut milk organic and non I

Organic eggs, butter, some meat

Organic produce

Bobs red mil coconut flour and almond flour

Walmart:

Organic produce

Organic potted herbs

Roasted red peppers

Tomorrow we are going to the dr in crown point so hopefully we will swing by and check out Costco. 

I think the planning is getting easier the more I have ready in my pantry and the more I read the book. 

Ready for tomorrow. 

Whole30: prep and day 1

About two weeks ago I got the book whole30. It is a twist on the paleo type diet (grain, sugar, legume, and dairy free). This means eggs, meat, whole fats, and tons of fresh produce. 

I've been on and off gluten free for over 3 years and I have better days and worse days. Since my newest addition is that I want to foster and healthy body and mind, I am choosing to do this so "reset" my gut and brain. 

 I gave myself a month to read the book and essentially planned to start on August 1, but the photos were tantalizing me in the worse way. I opted to start today and so far, I'm happy and I'm going to continue to foster the spirit that I will make it through. 

I really want to show myself I can heal my body. 

One thing I will say is that preparation is the most fundamental thing in this lifestyle change. You wouldn't want to get frustrated and binge eat on junk while your squash was roasting. That's why tonight when I came home from swimming, I knew I would be ok because my spaghetti squash bolognese was just waiting for a reheat. Perfect. That's a blessing. 

I also took the book to heart in many ways and then gave myself the space to be a little creative. 

Sunday night I prepped:

✔️large batch of Mexican flavored protein salad

✔️mayo

✔️ranch

✔️spaghetti squash, sauce, and meat

✔️batches of chopped veggies 

Here is what I had today:

9:30 B: spinach and tomatoe frittata, coffee with califia farms coconut almond milk, one grapefruit. 

(I had a small portion of the egg because I didn't feel hungry for a while but had an extra bite of the egg about an hour after the first. It held me over until lunch.)

I will preface this with:

I got the call at 12 that the Altima wasn't starting. Thought it needed a quick jump and then back home. Hah, yeah right. Well, it took about two hours of troubleshooting to decide we needed a tow. By the time we got home, we were exhausted and hungry.) 

2:30 L: Mexican chicken tacos on butter lettuce, with black olives, tomatoes, and ranch. Two celery sticks. One bubble water. 

6:45 D: quick spaghetti bolognese. Yum in my Tum and quicker than microwave nuggets. 

Now I'm resting and enjoying a movie. I've been perusing other whole30 recipes and I'm thinking of doing some extra prep for tomorrow before we go on a bike ride. 

Prep:

✔️packed leftover spaghetti for lunch tomorrow

✔️packed leftover frittata for tomorrow morning

✔️chicken in fridge defrosting 

✔️made ice coffee ready for my cpr class

✔️ prep snack for tomorrow 

✔️ make green cabbage salad for tomorrow dinner

Now again this is my first day in my first week. I'm a good planner but I'm also good at improvising. I enjoy having things on hand and then being able to just make what I'm hungry for. So far, I'm happy and not super hungry. 

To be honest, I've been sugar/grain/dairy detoxing since 4th of July (my sons bday-- filled with gluten free but sugar filled cupcakes, s'mores, and everything else at a bbq.) 

slowly tapering down my intake and that I think is helping me not feel so hangry for the junk. I do CRAVE sugar like nothing else so I need to get a bit more fruit in the house for emergencies. If I get hungry tonight I will make a banana and almond butter snack. The brain likes it when you have a plan. 

Ok, talk to you tomorrow👍🏻

A bankrupt idealist.

In my own horror, and through the help of my closest confidants, I have seen myself thorugh some pretty ugly moments these past couple of 24 hours. 

The word "rampage" was used. Along with the phrase, "your poor me party". 

Ouch. But without HEARING those words, it makes it harder to ground myself and come to the Amelia that isn't mean, angry, hurtful, irrational, reactionary, etc......

I asked for help and large spoonful of motivation, and woke up this morning ready to take on my, "overly full" as I was calling it, plate.

Yes, I do have a busy life, jammed with things to accomplish, people to see, impressions to make, experiences to be had but those things don't mean anything if I cannot enjoy them. A "bankrupt Idealist" as my morning devotion pointed out. No thanks. 

I started a new journal this morning and it will be just lists of gratitude. This was one of my early tools in self development and for this I know only one thing: I must cherish what I have, for tomorrow--or even later today--I may not have those things. 

My little boy is turning 4 in five days. This is such a beautiful thing. I will not be sad in his growth, rather I will be grateful for his growth, development, innocence, pleasures, joys, smiles. This is what motherhood is about. Cherishing the moments, memories, and milestones. Four is a big deal. Four is FOUR!! This makes it all the more amazing that I take a step back and breath it all in, before 4 turns into 14. 

There is time. Let GOD in. Breath life. Have faith. 

Phew. 

Love,

Amelia

Thieves Snickerdoodles

So this morning started off fine but i waited for my coffee until about 11am. I was trying to go caffeine less but it wasn't working. So, I decided to make a strong brew (it was the last of my coffee) and turn it into an iced almond milk vanilla latte. Haha, said the ants. We ate all your syrup. Then died in the bottom of the bottle, only to be discovered AFTER I poured the corpse-filled concoction into my luscious caffeinated drink. So, I pour it out and make up my mind. I'm going to lakeshore coffee. 

It took me a minute to coax Zander but we made it in the car. Zander wanted a cookie so we found a gf Snickerdoodles and he gobbled it up. I barely got a bite so I made my own.  There, you have my reason. Now, try this recipe!!!

Adapted from:http://wholenewmom.com/recipes/pumpkin-snickerdoodles-with-gluten-dairy-egg-and-sugar-free-options/

Preheat over to 350*

In one bowl combine:

1/2 cup melted coconut oil

1/2 cup pumpkin puree

1/2 cup honey

1/4 cup xylitol or stevia

4 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 egg

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Slosh of vanilla extract

10 drops thieves essential oil

Mix well

Gently add:

1 1/2 cups of all purpose gf flour

1/2 cup coconut flour

Combine just enough. 

Roll into dough balls and then roll them around in about 3tbsp of sugar and 3 tsp pumpkin pie spice. 

Put on cookie tray, smash with three fingers and bake for 10 mins. 

Let cool and the devour. I mean, try. Mmmmmmmm. 

Sing Momma

Sitting in the tranquil tenderness of the flickering flames are the thoughts of the day, emanating from my overstuffed soul.
Watching the day roll out and the settled in stillness of sleep ride in on a train of soft touches-hand in hand-telling me, 'I love you' with the ink of his fingertips.
Nothing spoken, the words formed in bone long before life began.
'Sing Momma, sing me a song.'
'What, my boy?'
'Hmmm...' As if he has too many loved lullabies to choose from.
'My sunshine, my only sunshine.'
He finishes the line with a perfectly pitched, 'Grey.'
Like two tweeting birds, telling a story in a language all their own are my words in a song, the way we speak. The bonds written before breath.
Chosen, our lives,  a long time before our birth. The choice, a question in chance, the many moments along the path to enjoying the journey.
Footprints, fingerprints, countless lines etched in the soul of the world, loved by their creator, knowing the time spent was meant and needed.
Say yes, ride into the waves of joy, sails propelled by the breath of faith.

-AFW

"Hard work, full truth, and God's love will set you free"

Not sure if any of you use Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap, but I do. This quote and many other scripture-esque verbage covers the bottle in a church flyer kind of way.

Today, the line that stood out was: "There is no fear--Hard work, Full truth, and God's love will set you free."

And, my brotha's and sista's--I did it. I was set free from a mental mind fuck that dismantled my mind from heart. I just looked at myself in the mirror and said, "I feel like I'm on ecstasy."

TWO people contacted me yesterday. TWO. From my past. Rather close people, but two that I haven't talked to in some time. Actually, if you count the past three days, FOUR people who I haven't spoken to in ages contacted me to see if I was ok. I said yes, lying, and then asked why they asked. "Because you don't seem like it."

Apparently, I am was a sappy, sad, overly-present-in-a-terrible-way baby the past week. "You tell your life on social media." Which is true. I probably am obsessed with it. And that is another story.

Anyways, the underlying message was:
1) Focus on something else
2) Don't be so attached--it's a turnoff
3) Shit will work out
4) I can't control anything

Now none of these folks were program people. None of them. How, then, do they just GET this shit, and I have to work so goddamn hard at it? I am looking back at my behavior and it was pitiful, sad, depressed, etc. I wanted to be the victim, and I was doing it unknowingly.

I don't want to be that. I want to be strong. I want to be loving, and self approved. The fact that I came home from work, so happy, made myself a 5star salad, drank a few beers, and watched my favorite TV show until I passed out--and SLEPT THROUGH UNTIL MY 8:30AM ALARM was a work of God through me. He is saying, "Ok, enough is enough."

Be you: Precious and Free.

"Take me as I am. Who I am meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me."

A song from the musical Rent, movie/musical/broadway; It's a song about a lover trying to ask for acceptance, but not giving a fuck if she doesn't get it. Hard core, right? She seems strong.

Wow, wouldn't it be great to not give a fuck?

Yes, it would. But, as humans, we have this underlying need to be loved and accepted. Many people digress over life, and their underlying statement is: "I just want to be loved."

Again, being humans, we have found ways to manipulate, control, and change ourselves; to morph into something we aren't. (I can't even say, "someone" because it really isn't anyone. It's the dis-ease in us.)To try and MAKE another person love us, stay with us, do things we want them to do, etc. Those habits make it harder for the one loving, because the person/being/soul they found love in, is no longer there.

"To be as God intended, PRECIOUS and FREE." Precious and free from what? The bondage of our minds. Our minds clogged with fear. The root of all evil is fear. Fear of losing what you have, or not getting what you want.

These changed behaviors/shortcomings/character defects all wreak havoc on our lives, and if we don't ask our creator to help us remove them, we will be something we aren't. We can't let ourselves go walking around in our own brain alone. It isn't safe. It's actually really fucking scary. But, you know, it's not like we have to. We have help. It's there. In the wind, the sun, the water; it's in the words of a book, or from a friend. It's a power greater than ourselves that we must "buy" into. I don't understand it, sometimes, but I know it's real.

You just have to have faith.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them. Scampering to the water, eager for the cool nourishment. Ready to play. Each lapse of the wave, the babies went closer, unafraid, into the shallow end of something new. Little and light, racing back as the water chased them to safety. The mother, standing strong, watching--knowing they are safe. Letting them go chase their dreams, not fearing. Close enough, she knows.

See, animals are instinctual. They don't think about what others think. They live based on their needs. Deer flock to love, accept the love, give the love, and leave the love. As it should be. Precious and Free.