I have been away for what seems like an eternity, and I think it has much to do with my desires to be perfect (like keeping the blog going and LOOKING good, even though I have hardly had a full night's sleep in three weeks!!). When my perfectionist side takes hold, and sunsequently becomes overwhelemed with all of the tasks that need to be perfected, she becomes lazy, for lack of a better term.
All in all, I can say that I truly am happy to be back, and now that the holiday crazies are gone, I can finally say that the perfectionist is also gone (for now).
The past two weeks have been a blessing. I have had almost two full weeks off of school, so no assignments to worry about, or deadlines to meet. But, without be as involved in school, I have been more involved with my job at the ER. This has made for busy days, nights and sometimes a long 12 hour shift, which doesn't really agree with me that well. The business has left me little time to spend with my adorable son, and that is the hardest thing I have been trying to deal with. He is such a doll, and this Christmas was fantastic. Check out my Christmas post for the full update. Here he is in my winter boots today, just laughing at himself!!Despite the frustrations, I've put on my happy pants (yeah, those are free ninety free at any 12 step meeting--you should get some. One size fits all...) and "faked it till I made it."
I have made it. I am in the home stretch, with merely 4 days until the NEW YEAR!!! I have some time to spare and enjoy.
The one thing that I have really been noticing this particular holiday season is that people are NICE. Strangers, usually, but in general, people have been nice to me. Like last night as I was walking into the grocery store, this man looked at me, and said, "Happy Holidays, and a blessed New Year!" He wasn't an employee or anything, but it really made me happy. Any today, at the bank, I asked for some help with my online stuff, and the woman, as polite as can be, said, "Let me just take care of that for you while you wait, if you have time." Finally, the topper of them all was the helpful gentleman, who offered his assistance, and even a cart to place my son in (he fell asleep in my arms while out running errands) while searching for a gift for my mom for me. None of those people NEEDED to do those things, but for some reason, they had kindness in their heart and sent it out to me as LOVE. You could also call it grace, and I think I might, because those were certainly unmerited gifts in my book. No matter how little the deed, someone--somewhere-- is watching. They are observing, they are absorbing, they are loving.
I felt like these people were passing on the "LOVE BUCKET", because they, too, had been loved this holiday season. It's not about THINGS, people, it's about the LOVE!!
A recent conversation with a friend about this concept of the "LOVE BUCKET" really had me reeling the other day. It seems like people would much rather pass around a garbage bag full of hate than to pass on love, and it is seen in thoughts, words, and deeds. It is the manner in which business (life) is handled. If there was more love, there would be less hate. Pretty simple concept, if you ask me. But, none-the-less, we are stuck in our miserable ways.
There is a nice slogan that I often think of: Let It Begin With Me. No matter what you are going through, what you are dealing with, or how much cash you have--you can ALWAYS give love. It's free, and that's the best part. It is as simple as doing the next right thing, rather than assuming (remember: to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME) that someone else will take care of it.
Action!! It speaks louder than ANYTHING!!!
I don't know why this idea hit me so hard today. I think it might be brought on by some of my daily spiritual readings, but also it has a LOT to do with the behavior I have seen exhibited these past few days. The kindness may be overlooked, but it is never forgotten. <3
How have you made an impact of LOVE??
<3 Amelia
