The problem ahead is never greater than the power from behind.

Sometimes I wonder what exactly the meaning behind the happenings in my life are.

Sometimes I think, why is this happening to me?

Sometimes I question what a specific person is doing in my life.

Then I stop and realize, GOD knows the meaning, HE makes things happen, and HE puts the people in my life that need to be there.

My whole life has been filled with small, medium, and large miracles.

These miracles have come in the form of being at the right place at the right time, making the right decision, and meeting the right people.

It has all happened because that was part of the plan, yet we as humans don't realize this. We think things are coincidences. We think that fate has brought these things into our lives, when in reality, the story has already been written.

I know this for a fact, because once I gave up trying to understand things and actually LOOKED and LISTENED to the things happening around me, I was blinded by the light of truth. The information washed over my conscious (and unconscious, as many things have started revealing themselves to me in my dreams), and now, more than ever before, if I ask for an answer, I GET THE ANSWER I NEED.

Like someone said in a meeting this week, "It may not be the Santa Clause answer I am WANTING, but it is the answer that my life NEEDS."

If you pray, think or just TALK to your higher power,  he hears you. He actually hears you when you are feeling the farthest from Him. He is never TOO far away.

Today, as I was driving to my nannying job, I saw this billboard from a church. The quote for today was,

"The problem ahead is never greater than the power from behind."

How insightful is that?!!?? I mean, wow. I needed that today. I needed to be reminded that, even though times are PRESENTLY more difficult to see the bigger picture right now, the times ahead will soon be clear enough. The understanding of WHY we are going through whatever we go through will soon be known. 

Give it all time. Time heals. Have patience and give your Higher Power time to allow things to develop as HE sees fit. 

And always remember...

"THY WILL, NOT MY WILL, BE DONE"

SOULFOOD: Overcoming F.E.A.R.

When something scares me, my first instinct is to flea. When I worry about doing well, I immediately make up ten excuses in my head about why I can't do it, so that doing it poorly won't be an option.
 
An acronym that has been used to describe fear is : Forget Everything And Run. This acronym is usually how I think about facing challenges. I realized though, that excuses and running away from problems that cause fear didn't solve the problem. It just puts them off for later!!

So, I REWORD that phrase and get: Face Everything And Recover.

The reading in CoDA for today reminded me of those two acronyms, and so I am using the SECOND one as my mantra for today/tomorrow, as I prepare to take my physics midterm! I am choosing to abolish thoughts of abandoning my problems (or my made up problems--taking an exam is something that I SIGNED UP FOR!!! LOL), and face them head on even though I feel like my biggest fear lately is doing well in my two pre-med courses: Physics and Calculus.

Last weekend, I took my calculus midterm, and I got a 79.98%, which rounds to be a B-. This was not what I was expecting, and I was bummed by my result. To prepare for the exam, I studied hard all week; I made a "cribsheet" with example questions and answers, equations, and tips for how to do the problem; and I felt really good about the work I had done in the three hours it took me to complete the exam. I closed my eyes as I clicked "submit", and when I opened them, my heart sank.

Well, that experience has made preparing for my second exam, the physics midterm, all the more fearful, and my level of anxiety and worry at the beginning of this week were rather high. I have a great program though, and through that I was able to let go, and detach, with the knowledge that the exam was now over, and that I could move on. The relief I felt after meditating about that past exam was immense.

Now I have spent this week preparing for the physics exam, but something in my head: as much as I prepare, and try to force the knowledge to flow, the worse I do. I have accepted that I do not have the power to ruin God's plan for me. As long as I do the foot work (studying and preparing), I will get to where I need to be, because God's plan is so much greater than the plan that I have in my head and my heart.

I know, with prayer and meditation, I will be able to face my challenges as they come, and when they do come, with calm deliberation.

Me in my "study", wearing my "preparing for med-school" glasses.

How are you facing your challenges? How do you manage when something is causing you to worry? I'd love to hear from you!!

<3 Amelia

An all encompassing blog about me, Amelia

All I want to do in my life is get somewhere. The thought of being poor, desolate, and unsuccessful is so overwhelming.

I looked up my name, Amelia, and one of the references said it was a Roman name, meaning "trying to excel". 

I now am working on my spirituality to enjoy the ride to where ever life may take me, so that I am no longer living a life of chaos. I admit that I am powerless over people, places and things, and my life has become chaotic when I try to control, analyze and dissect every aspect of my life.

Briefly, I will state the main things going on in my life:

• Mother of a beautiful one year old boy, who is now walking.
• Just graduated from VU, with a Bachelors degree in Biology.
• Living with my mother. 
• Experiencing a long distance relationship with my significant other.
• New member of a 12 step program to lead my life into serenity and freedom. 
• Taking physics and calculus at a community college.
• Preparing to take the GRE for entrance into Physical Therapy school. 
• I find peace at the shores of Lake Michigan, and I go there often.
• Addicted to cooking, crafting, exercising, blogging and shopping, which tend to take up most of my free time.  

In order to fit this into the short hours of each day, I know that I must truly make goals and priorities, which lead me to making lists and piles.

You may have seen my other blogs, but soon those will be erased and this blog will encompass each and every aspect of my life, whatever I may choose to express at that moment. No more fussing over 6 blogs!! Phew!

I am new to making blogs into full blown websites, but if you are patient with me, then I am sure you will come to enjoy my writings, and the blogsite will come together.

As a tip from the GRE website, it is important to write something every day, so this is my first attempt at writing with hopes of improving my skills. I am taking the GRE at the end of October (my new goal, which gives me 2.5 months to study).