Let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me. Amen.

Every time I try and write something, I can feel an underlying tone of hostility and anger. Hence the little prayer above. I want to make this afternoon joyous, exciting, and fun. I do not want to carry this emotional hangover that I have put myself through to thrive any longer, so I think I am going to write a little bit about what I am thankful for today. A grattitude list, if you will.

Overall, I am thankful for a higher power that I can turn to in times of good and bad.
1. My physical, mental, and emotional health.
2. My family: My mother for helping me, no matter what. My son for always putting a smile on my face and love in my heart.
3. My knowledge, both of things good and bad, and the power I have with knowing. I am truly blessed to be a lover of learning.
4. My job(s). Today, I am a mother and a nanny. I choose to be happy and fun, because these children depend on me.
5. My car. It has been reliable and trustworthy. The heat is nice and toasty!!
6. My program. My higher power, my groups, my literature, my friends. It has truly allowed me to turn my entire health around.
7. The little income that I do make. This is where I would like to say something that is bothering me. With the exception of maybe 10-15 college mates, I don't really know anyone else who is a single mom, working full time or not, who is not on some form of governmental aid, be it medicaid, food stamps, TANF, or  housing/ childcare vouchers. When I get onto a social media network and my news feed has been blown up about "unnecessary taxes" or "bullshit laws taking out my money" it makes me livid. The government is doing it's job, and instead of BITCHING about what you are NOT getting, why cant you be GRATEFUL for what you DO have. I have given this misery i am feeling over to my higher power, and there is really nothing more I can say on this subject other than this: For the most part, those of us who are on any kind of governmental help DO NOT WANT IT. Rather, if we didn't have it, our CHILDREN would suffer. Look at the bigger picture, folks. IT'S ABOUT THE HELPLESS CHILDREN. So, if I happen to offend you, it's not because I don't care about your opinion. It's because I care MORE about making sure MY CHILD is taken care of, even if I do get glares, nasty remarks, or sub-par treatment. I will take what I can get and I will be GRATEFUL.