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| My delicious heart shaped frosted sugar cookies. |
When I was in the midst of heartache and turmoil, back when my relationship of several years was falling apart, my mom always used to say, "You can't help who you are going to fall in love with."
It would always made me feel comforted, because it is totally, utterly true. Love. Just. Happens.
All I know of LOVE is LOVE is all there is.
I am in more of an acceptance impression of the first three important aspects of life:
I can't, GOD can, I will let him. I am truly more accepting of the way things turn out in life, including everything from the weather, people, "coincidences", places, things...etc. Why? Because of that phrase above.... It's a necessity in my life. The people I have/had the privilege of talking to remind me of that.
In this amazing book called the Alchemist, which I have talked about a time or two, there is a word that stands out in my mind. Maktub. This word, in Sanskrit, means, "It has been written," or something to the effect of that. It was brought up in this book when the boy, who is on his personal legend, is trying to figure out how and why the things that are happening actually do happen on a scary trip through the war rampant dessert. Well, the Camel driver told him, "Maktub."
It comes to me time to time. It is a better word that "coincidence". It is better than "miracle". It is perfect, because it is exactly something that I can focus on to ground me. To bring me back to center. To remind me that, no, I am not some super awesome being that the world revolves around, but because I believe in a power greater than myself, I know and have come to have faith in what has been written for me. There is not controlling this life.
Things in life will happen NO MATTER WHAT. It is how you REACT and RESPOND to those things which define you.
It's a sad day when you have to face your best friend, named denial, and tell them it's "not working out anymore." Haha, yeah, right, what are you talking about..? But when you come to terms with something that is hard to let go of, it's easier to admit it than to keep on believing it, even though it may be hard. Really fucking hard. The admitting part. Ouch. </3
A line from a movie keeps hitting me: "How could I have loved something that I never had?"
Well, the only way I can answer that is because in my heart, I did have it. I still do have it. It's not going anywhere, but the boundary I give to it can be moved back, until it is out of harms way.
<3 Amelia
