Positive Affirmations of CoDA

Recently, I was at a wonderful 1st step Codependents anonymous meeting. There were so many newcomers there, and it was a very high energy meeting. Coincidentally, I was the leader, and instead of becoming too nervous, I felt empowered. Hopefully I could come across to these people in an informed way!! I think I did, anyways :)

When I was preparing the night before, I wanted to make sure that this meeting started off on the right foot.  I chose to make it a more formal meeting, since it was the first of the year. I am really glad that I did. I think that the formality was greeted with a deeper understanding of the group, as a program, rather than just a meeting. It had the right components to ignite new ideas in some of the members, which was brought up afterwards.

Part of my plan was to delegate the duties of reading specific things to some of the members before the group started. All of the information isn't usually read, but I wanted to read it all, so we had many members help get the meeting going. My final duty, besides leading the meeting, was to read the CoDA affirmations. They are sometimes left out, but since they are so powerfully uplifting, I wanted to make sure we ended on a positive note. They always make me feel so special, and loved by me.

Here is a big list, and all of them are great and very meaningful. I underlined some of the ones that make me truly feel good, from the inside.I found this list at the CoDA Online site.

I am a child of God; I deserve love, peace and prosperity for me.

I am not alone, I am one with God and the universe.

I am a good person to me for me.

I am loved and I deserve love.

I have many talents

I am not a victim

I will be who I am and I am enough.

I am worthy and good to me for me.

I am a loving person

I am a strong, capable person

I respect myself and I deserve respect from others

I set my boundaries for me

I respect mine and others boundaries for me

The pain that I feel by remembering, can not be any worse than the pain that I feel by knowing and not remembering

I take full charge of my life today

I let serenity flow into my life

I feel appreciated today

I can give to others with no strings attached

I can meet new opportunities without fear

I will not be intimidated for me

Today I view my childhood without shame

Today I have confidence  

Today I will rejoice in my abilities

I trust in the serenity my God provides

I am calm and tranquil.

I can be playful

I open my heart to my inner child

I have a new awareness in my life

I acknowledge my needs

I allow God to enter my life today
I can face my fears & work to overcome them

I can trust my thoughts & emotions

I feel my feelings for me

I can be vulnerable with someone I trust.

I forgive myself for accepting sex when I wanted love.

I make decisions confidently for me

I am kind, loving and gentle to me for me

I acknowledge my needs

I am peaceful and loving

I am joyful

I will seek out friends today

I am a friendly person

I am a good listener

I feel good about myself for me

I express my feelings for me

I make wise choices for me

I treat myself with kindness & patience

I am in charge of my life

I forgive myself & others who have hurt me

I am a friend to myself

I can express my anger openly, honestly & appropriately

I can handle criticism with ease

Today I will put all negativity behind me 

I hope that this list made you feel good, today. I know I sure do. Leave a comment with any affirmation you would like to add!!

A hurt ego, but a wise heart.

So, I am sitting here at work, after just finding out that I did not get the promotion/raise for the job I just got, and I am TRYING not to let it get to me. I needed to tell someone because not only is my ego bruised, (why didn't the doctors like ME???), but, I am also trying not to worry about what these doctors I am working with today are thinking of me.

Last night, I knew I would be finding out about this soon, so I made myself write down that I would be understanding, and that whatever decision that was made would be right for ME. Well, I know that it is. God allowed it to happen.

Now, thankfully, I can see things as they are and realize that the things that have been happening lately (like seeing the TA for the organic chemistry course that I met in line to vote again at the gas station) as an omen about NEEDING to continue with these classes so that I can go to medical school.

Maybe the promotion, with it's extra duties and extra hours, would have been more of a burden than a blessing. Maybe I would've hated it. Maybe I would've not continued with the two other classes having found out that I got this job, and then I would've prolonged my MCAT exam, and consequently my application to medical school...I am saying "maybe" because ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE THOUGHTS AND IDEAS THAT WERE GOING THROUGH MY HEAD!!! WOW!!!

In the book, The Alchemist,  by Paul Choelo, it talks about letting NOTHING get in the way of your dreams. It talks about keeping your heart and mind and soul open to the language of the world, and seeing things for what they are-- the language of the world--with all of it's messages, omens, and signs. It tells you what is happening, how it should be happening, and that whatever is happening is MEANT to happen. Holy Hott Stuff, I'm on to something!!!!

In the book, the boy is on his journey of his own personal legend. The boy meets a king, who first appears to him in a busy market place, but then he continues to appear to him, again and again, throughout the novel in different forms: a good idea, a kind merchant, a theif (weird, I know), and so many othe ways. He guides him, but he often tests him as well. He wants the boy to continue to fulfill his personal legend. The boy, just as he is very near to his personal legend, meets a girl and falls madly in love with her. He wants to abandon his dream, and stay with her. But, she tells him no. She says, you will never be happy if you don't do what your HEART is telling you to do.

So, just like the boy, I feel like my higher power is making me aware that this job, the promotion that I longed for, will not fulfill my heart, not my personal legend. It is not what I am destined to do. It is not the end of the road for me.

And thank GOD, because I really don't LOVE working 12 hour shifts in the ER 4 days a week!!!!

Okay, well now that I have written this blog post, I can clearly, happily, and wholeheartedly say that I am not distraught over the news. I know that there is something MORE I have to be doing, and even though it was something that I wanted to happen, it is not something that was supposed to happen for me.

Just like I have already learned, when I pray for something, I ALWAYS GET THE ANSWER I NEED, not necessarily what I think I need, or what I think I want. 

Positivity, Patience, and Persistence. 

Today, I have a program. I will not show that I am hurt, even though I may be. Without the Al-Anon and CoDA programs, I do not know where I would be. Without the people and literature and the meetings, I do not know if I would've handled it as well.

 Oh, and writing in this blog has TRULY helped.

<3 Amelia

Day 1: i need to move!

My life had become unraveled, stressed and filled with food.

Remember this: EAT TO LOVE, DON'T LIVE TO EAT. Or else you become fat. #truth. Unless you work out. #doubletruth

So, after summer parties, my sons birthday ...etc. I was over it...I needed to look and FEEL good.

While on pinterest one night, I came across this running program: the color run or something. The pic is below. Really easy start to running a 5k in 8 weeks. Minimal committment: 3x/ week, starting with just 20 mins. Nice. I did the first go around my block on Saturday july 7th 2012. It was hott, (as seen in the pic with my face) but worth it.

I started p90x on Monday. The plan is worth it folks. Step by step videos, diet plan and all. Even worksheets to write down your reps. Totally amazing. This is my 3rd time attempting it, and hopefully my first time finishing it!

Good luck, all. I know one thing: it's what you do at home, on those tired, lazy days that makes you feel better than ever!

...Amelia...