An acronym that has been used to describe fear is : Forget Everything And Run. This acronym is usually how I think about facing challenges. I realized though, that excuses and running away from problems that cause fear didn't solve the problem. It just puts them off for later!!
So, I REWORD that phrase and get: Face Everything And Recover.
The reading in CoDA for today reminded me of those two acronyms, and so I am using the SECOND one as my mantra for today/tomorrow, as I prepare to take my physics midterm! I am choosing to abolish thoughts of abandoning my problems (or my made up problems--taking an exam is something that I SIGNED UP FOR!!! LOL), and face them head on even though I feel like my biggest fear lately is doing well in my two pre-med courses: Physics and Calculus.
Last weekend, I took my calculus midterm, and I got a 79.98%, which rounds to be a B-. This was not what I was expecting, and I was bummed by my result. To prepare for the exam, I studied hard all week; I made a "cribsheet" with example questions and answers, equations, and tips for how to do the problem; and I felt really good about the work I had done in the three hours it took me to complete the exam. I closed my eyes as I clicked "submit", and when I opened them, my heart sank.
Well, that experience has made preparing for my second exam, the physics midterm, all the more fearful, and my level of anxiety and worry at the beginning of this week were rather high. I have a great program though, and through that I was able to let go, and detach, with the knowledge that the exam was now over, and that I could move on. The relief I felt after meditating about that past exam was immense.
Now I have spent this week preparing for the physics exam, but something in my head: as much as I prepare, and try to force the knowledge to flow, the worse I do. I have accepted that I do not have the power to ruin God's plan for me. As long as I do the foot work (studying and preparing), I will get to where I need to be, because God's plan is so much greater than the plan that I have in my head and my heart.
I know, with prayer and meditation, I will be able to face my challenges as they come, and when they do come, with calm deliberation.
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| Me in my "study", wearing my "preparing for med-school" glasses. |
How are you facing your challenges? How do you manage when something is causing you to worry? I'd love to hear from you!!
<3 Amelia
