Let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me. Amen.

Every time I try and write something, I can feel an underlying tone of hostility and anger. Hence the little prayer above. I want to make this afternoon joyous, exciting, and fun. I do not want to carry this emotional hangover that I have put myself through to thrive any longer, so I think I am going to write a little bit about what I am thankful for today. A grattitude list, if you will.

Overall, I am thankful for a higher power that I can turn to in times of good and bad.
1. My physical, mental, and emotional health.
2. My family: My mother for helping me, no matter what. My son for always putting a smile on my face and love in my heart.
3. My knowledge, both of things good and bad, and the power I have with knowing. I am truly blessed to be a lover of learning.
4. My job(s). Today, I am a mother and a nanny. I choose to be happy and fun, because these children depend on me.
5. My car. It has been reliable and trustworthy. The heat is nice and toasty!!
6. My program. My higher power, my groups, my literature, my friends. It has truly allowed me to turn my entire health around.
7. The little income that I do make. This is where I would like to say something that is bothering me. With the exception of maybe 10-15 college mates, I don't really know anyone else who is a single mom, working full time or not, who is not on some form of governmental aid, be it medicaid, food stamps, TANF, or  housing/ childcare vouchers. When I get onto a social media network and my news feed has been blown up about "unnecessary taxes" or "bullshit laws taking out my money" it makes me livid. The government is doing it's job, and instead of BITCHING about what you are NOT getting, why cant you be GRATEFUL for what you DO have. I have given this misery i am feeling over to my higher power, and there is really nothing more I can say on this subject other than this: For the most part, those of us who are on any kind of governmental help DO NOT WANT IT. Rather, if we didn't have it, our CHILDREN would suffer. Look at the bigger picture, folks. IT'S ABOUT THE HELPLESS CHILDREN. So, if I happen to offend you, it's not because I don't care about your opinion. It's because I care MORE about making sure MY CHILD is taken care of, even if I do get glares, nasty remarks, or sub-par treatment. I will take what I can get and I will be GRATEFUL.

The God Box

Tonight, I went to the show, "The God Box," by Mary Lou Finlan. It was not what I was expecting (a lecture, and then a book signing), but was sparkly, heartfelt, and truly inspiring story of the mother and her  "God Box"
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The author and also the performer was very into her message; the love in her life, especially from her mother, was very evident. I truly felt the presence of her mother  in her story, and I was so excited to listen. I am also grateful for the Memorial Opera House, and the YMCA for putting this performance on!!!




Her story reminds me of me and my mother. We have our little quirks, sayings, and the way we connect over silly things. I am blessed to have such a wonderful mother, and I dread the day when I will no longer be able to have my best friend by my side.

 In Al-Anon, the God Box is often mentioned as a means of LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD.

I have written about it before, but it is such a perfect time to reiterate the subject because many things, things which I cannot handle, are challenging me at this point in time. The people in my life, the decisions I have to make, the challenges as I face my own disease of codependency.

Tonight was such a fresh of breath air. Haha, I meant--a breath of fresh air! I got to go out and enjoy the evening, laugh, cry a little, and talk things out with a friend. It was an enjoyable evening.

I am so thankful, and the more I focus on gratitude, the better I feel about ALL of the things in my life.

Like tonight, instead of being upset about the cold, I was actually so THANKFUL to be standing outside, under the stars.

Hopefully you got to see the clear, night sky--the stars were so bright and shimmering, like a winking smile that I long to see.

I will never stress more about how things are supposed to happen for a reason and when they do and you recognize them, your Reticular Activating System is working!!! It's the Law of Attraction. I love it. ;) Something so simple as seeing a "sign", and knowing that it's got a bigger meaning, or that it doesn't. but it's just about what emphasis we put on something. Something so simple as a license place....

Anyways, I am rambling a bit. I will sign off for now.

<3 Amelia