Sing Momma

Sitting in the tranquil tenderness of the flickering flames are the thoughts of the day, emanating from my overstuffed soul.
Watching the day roll out and the settled in stillness of sleep ride in on a train of soft touches-hand in hand-telling me, 'I love you' with the ink of his fingertips.
Nothing spoken, the words formed in bone long before life began.
'Sing Momma, sing me a song.'
'What, my boy?'
'Hmmm...' As if he has too many loved lullabies to choose from.
'My sunshine, my only sunshine.'
He finishes the line with a perfectly pitched, 'Grey.'
Like two tweeting birds, telling a story in a language all their own are my words in a song, the way we speak. The bonds written before breath.
Chosen, our lives,  a long time before our birth. The choice, a question in chance, the many moments along the path to enjoying the journey.
Footprints, fingerprints, countless lines etched in the soul of the world, loved by their creator, knowing the time spent was meant and needed.
Say yes, ride into the waves of joy, sails propelled by the breath of faith.

-AFW

Sunday, my only day off!

I just thought about something...

Sunday is my only day "off" of work and school. I go to a meeting, but that is something that I enjoy, and I usually spend the rest of the day doing whatever fun stuff I can jam in to the waking hours.

Here is a recap of a typical Sunday for me:

Early morning, wake up and go see "Gampa" in MC, and then once the baby is settled, go to a meeting with my lovely friends.

Head back around 1pm and put the baby down for a nap.

*Insert random fun thing here.* Sometimes I bake, read, shower, do hw (yes, it's fun to me), cook, plan...etc

Today, that fun thing was going for a run in the FREEZING cold. It was so cold, my toes began to feel numb! It was bad. But, I made it three miles in 40 minutes, which is pretty good for me. I really wanted to go for a run out on the Nature Trail on Lake Michigan, but it was snowing by the lake so I opted out. My run was just as nice.


After my run, I came in, made a protein shake and warmed up. Telepathically, my son woke up to the sound of me walking up the stairs. I got him up, and then we snuggled for a while until he wanted to play.  He's so sweet. Carressing my face, hugging me and kissing me, saying, "Mama". I don't want him to get any bigger!!!! Just too cute.


The boys (my son and my "nephew" Clay--both too cute for words) wanted shrimpies for linner, so I made them that with an awesome raspberry kiwi fruit salad. Doesn't this look da'bomb? Yeah, and both fruits were ripe and juicy, so it was super fresh and sweet.

They ate together. Alexzander usually eats in his highchair and normally the TV is off during meals, but I was feeling nice on this weekend day. Here they are eating lunch together. Yes, my son is not wearing any pants, with knee high tube socks and some retro looking tennis shoes form "Gampa". He wouldn't take them off, nor would he put pants on. He was happy, so I let him be.

 I cleaned up and then started a batch of lentils and grains for supper. Such a funny word that is, but I like using it. It turned out delicious, especially after Alexzander and I went  swimming at the pool. I wish I could take pics of him swimming because he is SUCH a good swimmer. He is not afraid one bit!! He scoots around the entire edge of the pool, jumps in by himself, kicks and moves his legs and arms to swim, and doesn't mind going under water. He is amazing. I am so proud that he loves the water, because as a child, I HATED the water. My brother threw me into the deep end all of the time until I got used to it. That was a dreadful experience. I hope that by taking him early, and having him swim 3-4x per week, I can get him swimming by 2 or 3 years old and I won't have a problem teaching him later on. 

After dinner, we played and then watched a Disney movie before bed. It was so relaxing. He went down around 8:30,and then I went and prepared my weekly snacks and my breakfast smoothie for tomorrow. I would much rather lose 30 minutes the night before than wasting time frantically doing things in the morning, half asleep.

My smoothies have been awesome lately, and the one I have prepped for tomorrow is spinach, raspberries, and blueberries, with hemp, C, Glutamine, coconut water, acai juice, carrot juice and 3 scoops of true vitality protein powder. I always blend it extra long, and it is smooth and creamy. SO yum.


 OH, I almost forgot!!!! The best part about prepping now is being able to WEIGH things on my new KITCHEN SCALE!!! Found it for 15$ at COSTCO!!! Talk about deal, baby!!!!! The labels for food always give portion sizes in oz, g, or cups so I wanted to be able to track exactly what calories I was consuming. It REALLY helps!!! I bagged up 5 dried fruit and nut baggies for this weeks shuffle (school, work, nannying...etc). Each one is for my midday snack ~ 300 calories.


For each mini meal I try to consume no more than 300 calories, 5x per day. That equals 1500 calories, and with the mild to moderate workouts I do each day, I am sure that I can slenderize the last few areas on my list.





What are YOUR days off like??? Do you do fun stuff or do you prepare for the rest of the work week? Do you relax or do you run and get things done?? I'd love to hear!

Recipe: Finger Lickin' Good Green Beans

I was having a hankering for some popcorn with the movie we were watching (Tangled-yes, the Disney movie), but decided to go for something green instead.

At Costco, they had awesome french style green beans on sale, so I bought a bunch. They are delish. Tonight, I sauteed them with some EVOO and spices, and they were a wonderful crispy snack that even my son chowed on. He calls them GEE BEES.

Here is the recipe:

In frying pan, bring 1-2 tbsp EVOO to med temp and add ~5oz of washed/trimmed Green Beans.

Let the GB's cook for about 3 minutes over med/high heat, constantly moving them.

Add favorite spices/seasonings like:
nutritional yeast
garlic salt
parsley
cayenne pepper

Enjoy!!!! Preferrably while watching a Disney movie and snuggling with your bambino!

<3 Amelia

Face reality. Face your fear.

Okay, it's obvious what I am feeling. I am sad. I am lonely. I am unhappy.

Making hard decisions, like what to spend your time on, truly are some of the most frustrating things that can ever be done.

Today I read a blog post about wasting your time on mindless things and one of those things was   toxic relationships. 

A toxic relationship doesn't have to mean the worst possible thing ever...it could be simply that you are spending too much time on the other person, and your own life is suffering, which is exactly what mine was about. 

Even though I have been working on fixing things, I think at this point, it is going to take time. A lot of time.

No words can change the situation, no immediate actions can rework the present, and certainly nothing in the world can magically make everything better.

It brings reality to my world. To let go and give time to the situation also means to get a grip on what my PRESENT reality is. I have been holding onto this picture of perfection in my mind for so long, and it hasn't happened yet, and I don't know when it will, so I must let go of that and face the truth, however ugly it may be.

It is so sad to say this, but I really didn't want to admit that I was a single mother. I always thought that because we were trying to work things out, and because we were still talking, that I wasn't doing this alone, but in reality, I have been for the past eight months. EIGHT MONTHS. It has taken me eight months to come to this  reality.

I am a single mom.

I am a good mom.

No matter what, whether I am single or with his father, I will be there for him and give him what he needs.

I am really sad about this. I wanted a perfect little family life. I wanted a father around for my boy. I wanted so much more than this: sitting in my room, crying, writing a stupid blog about this.

But, before I never had time to blog. I never had time to read, or bake, or cook, or be happy, or to take care of myself. I was so ill-consumed with taking care of him that I gave myself no time at all.

Now I am taking care of myself. I am making the hard choices, but these hard choices are making me a stronger, more evolved person.

I just wish it wasn't so lonely. And sad. And hard.

<3 Amelia