Peace and Love

Life isn't about the ending point, it's about the journey; we aren't born the ultimate person we become, because growing, living, peace, serenity, happiness, wealth, and love are all a process. The only thing that is constant is change.

I read a great quote today by Ghandi:  

"Outward peace is useless without inner peace."

My own testament of this is probably wearing my heart on my sleeve and letting my emotions show. I haven't mastered the art of facial disguise, probably because I am so emotional, but I am working on it. 

Funny thing, these emotions. One time, I told myself, "Listen to your heart.." Then, I found myself in some sticky situations. Emotions are totally impractical, unreliable, and just because I feel them, doesn't mean they are true. Emotions are not accountable, and they almost always muck up a situation. So, the next time you are trying to make a decision, use your brain. That's all you can really rely on. THINK.

I saw this cool Bob Marley quote/pic today on FB...







Even though I don't feel capable of investing my heart and soul into a relationship, I do feel like I've been lead on, in a couple of different directions. I want to firmly plant my feet in an independent relationship with myself, and until I am capable of loving myself for who I am, without the approval or acceptance of another person, I don't think I can be. I need friends, not lovers,--supporters, not fighters. 

I love you but not your choices.  

<3 Amelia

Everyone is going through their own stuff.

Tonight, a friend reminded me that, no matter what, everyone is going through their own issues, and for that we must not judge them.
This was perfectly said, and I needed to hear it because lately, I have been judging others some what harshly. I haven't been living the way I know that will give me serenity and peace. I haven't been walking the walk.

I don't need to feel anothers pain, happiness, joy, sorrow, anger, or frustration to feel WHOLE. I can feel whole just by myself. That doesn't mean I don't empathize with others, it just means I have to step back and think about what is mine to feel and what isn't

MY feelings are just that: my feelings. I am sitting here having  a "Poor Little Old Me" party, wishing things were easier, better, and that I had my picture perfect life already. I want security. I want love. I want comfort. Yes, those things are enjoyable, and I want them!!! I know what I really need, though, and that is not going to come from anyone or anything else but me. 

I hear at a meeting tonight, "I am trying to gain emotional sobriety." This is my goal, as well.

Serenity and peace come from within.

^^ I think that this is going to be my first tattoo, right on my ribcage.  :) 

SOUL FOOD: Acceptance

I have been working very hard lately to take care of me, my soul, and I. Every day, I take the time to read literature from Al-Anon, or from CoDA. I attend both groups on a weekly basis, and through them I have learned so much.

The serenity prayer is something that I have come to use moment to moment in times of worry, discomfort, and fear.

"Dear Lord,

Please Grand Me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I cannot CHANGE,

The COURAGE to change the things I CAN, 

and the WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE."

And when I am struggling with those things that I cannot change, I say more simply: 

"I can't, God can, I'll let him."

Today has been a good day, but some moments are more difficult than others. One in particular had my heart pounding, head reeling, and stomach churning, yet instead of letting those thoughts and feelings CONSUME me, I said the serenity prayer. I quickly realized, that even though the conversation on the phone that I was having wasn't sounding like something I agreed with, I have no POWER over the other person who is talking, and I cannot CHANGE them, or their thoughts. 

Because of that simple little prayer, I was able to detach from the phone call, just enough to still be able to listen, but also enough so that I didn't let my head or my heart get angry. I accepted his words, listened intently, and tried to empathize with his reasoning. 

I am scared for him, but I know that all is in divine order, and because of that divine intervention, I feel safe, and comfortable with my actions. I am happy to say that, no matter what happens, it is in God's best interest. God doesn't let things happen, without already knowing what the consequences are. 

Something I like to remember when facing a challenge: 

"If God puts you through it, God will bring you through it, you just have to have FAITH."

How do you feed your soul? Are you spiritual, or not? Do you have faith in a Higher Power, that allows you to let go of the burden of worry and fear? Let me know, I'd love to hear from you!

<3 Amelia